Cosplay Talk...

Another long post...
Don't mind me~~~

Lolz, anyway... I FINALLY DID IT...

Yeah, finally... I got rid of Asato from my cosplay list. I felt so relieved when I finally did it. It feels like a weight literally dropped from my shoulder when I finally decided to give him up. I mean, the idea of dropping him had been a while in my mind but I never got the courage to really drop him.

Just so you know, Jellyfish gave me the final push. >.<'' Well, what started today's decision of dropping Asato came when I read a ex-cosplayer's blog this morning. I sort of take her for my cosplay idol (she doesn't know though... >.<'') because of the fact that she still has the guts to cosplay even though she wears a 'tudung' like I do. So yeah, I kind of respect her for that...

Anyway, she just dropped cosplaying this year and when I read how she's constantly trying to get away from cosplay and about the temptation is still there, I felt guilty... Really guilty.

I mean, here I am cosplaying some character which I barely had any attachment to while someone is trying hard to resist the temptation of cosplaying someone that she really like. It made me feel bad, and I realized that if I continued to do characters for the sake of cosplaying, then I would never understand the true term of cosplay.

Sure, my original plan for next year was HIZAKI and Asato, so basically, I do have a cosplay plan of a person that I like.

But then...next year is next year. And what's more, it's for CF next year.

It felt wrong.

Because if I were to stick with my current plan this year, which was Shiki (Togainu no Chi) for CF, and then Asato and Hizaki for CF next year, then, in the two years which I have started cosplaying, I would be spending around RM500 for two characters that I barely have any attachment to.

And that's what made it feel wrong.

It made me realize that cosplay is not about being lonely because you're cosplaying the only character from that one AnimeMangaGame, and about finding a partner for your cosplay character and because of that loneliness that would make you join a group of and AMG that you barely know.

Cosplay is not like that. Not at all...

I realized that cosplaying is doing something that you like, following a character that you like, and overcoming your differences and the characters so that you can become what exactly the character is like.

Being the only character won't make me lonely, and being in a cosplay group won't make me feel less lonely than what I already am.

I'm cosplaying a specific character, whether it's from an Anime, Manga or even a J-rocker is not because I'm doing it to fill my loneliness.

I'm doing it because I want to do it. And doing a character that I like would make me feel less guilty and unhappy because it's the character that I MYSELF CHOOSE, and not a character that people made me do.

I'm sorry for Fuyu if I ever made you feel like I am right now. I made you cosplay Akira with me, so I'm really really sorry if you ever regretted buying the costume just for the sake of pleasing me.

I'm really really really sorry.