Life Talk 2

To become me...
Or to become what people expect when they see me...

To become the same person that I've always been...
Or to become the way that I want 'ME' to be...

To choose which way to lead to my downfall...
To choose which way that makes me less insane...

Hmm...?
I wonder which way is that?

***

> This is not a poem... my thoughts just suddenly rhymed together... >.<''

Life Talk 1

Up until a moment ago...my hand really hurt. It tingled like mad...

and even though I know that it's puasa... I just can't help the thoughts running through my mind. It just really hurts when I think about it... and it makes me sad that I still have such thoughts in my head...

It just hurts being like this. And being around people.

I don't care what people tell me but I don't think I'll be able to like a guy properly... as in a guy in my time and not some J-rocker or a fantasy character that I created.

It just hurts to be with them...my friends...my seniors...everyone...

I'm not sure what made my heart harden like this but I think I can tell that it's not going to soften anymore... It'll be more harder as I grow I guess.

Most probably I'm just afraid of getting hurt... though I know that it's practically impossible, I just don't want to get hurt from someone I've loved, trusted and depended on.

So to HELL with GUYS!

I rather buy myself a BJD and cuddle with it all day.